Insight through Words

No matter how much love you give , you will always fail to please people who never want to give you back enough. Because they have set their eyes on pleasing people who dont love them. You will bleed blood for them but all they will ever see is a scratched forehead of their haters. And they will choose to get that scratch treated instead. There is nothing we will take along with us upon our death yet we spend our whole life trying to claim so much. Do you get as sick as me sometimes  in this race of claiming? I wonder how tired she is of fighting? I am. I am tired just by listening to her fight. I cant imagine how fierce and struggle full her fight possibly has been all along. But is giving up the answer? Its too easy to give up and just too difficult to keep fighting. I want to come out of this. But every second of my life i feel like i am getting tangled even more.  Life seems so perfect to the outsiders. We cant even imagine what one is going through. Yet we are so quick to...

If i died........... Mom... If i havent told you enough I love you mom If i havent shown you as much I love you mom I might have told you today But i might forget tomorrow To express my love for you I am grateful to have a mother as great as you I might not know your struggles as well as you went through them And i m sorry if i couldnot take them away But i want to see you happy mom If i die be happy mom. Live in the moment Let go of the past  Let go of your pain Be happy mom Gain a little weight  Spend on yourself Keep being the kind hearted soul Keep on taking care of the unloved Dont worry anymore about me You have given up yourself for us And no "thank you" will be ever enough for the life you have given to us There is so much to say to you mom Keep making jokes with me. I will be smiling with your smile Be happy mom. Dad.... Dad i know i have been too often rude You pampered me so much dad I know i have been a rude one  But i love you dad There is no despite when i t...

Today morning i was thinking about the purpose of our life. I was convinced we are born so we can help somebody else.  The day passed like any other day and i was going back home with two of my friends. On our way from putalisadak to bagbazar suddenly the world stopped for us. We heard a house rumble down. My first instinct was to run. But i paused. I wasn't paralyzed but i just couldn't put myself to run. It was an adrenaline rush only with no movement. I knew i wasn't as near as where the noise came from but i also knew i wasn't in a safe distance. I dared myself to look behind me and saw the rubble falling. And when i looked ahead of me i saw my two friends running. It all happened in a matter of few seconds but in that moment i realized how much can happen in one single second. It was as if time had stopped.  Only few steps away we were from having those rumbles fall upon us and injure us or probably kill us.  It was just about few seconds.  And in this...

Dear god  You made a mistake Am i supposed to be here? Cause i feel so out of place Am i being stupid now Asking you inconsequential questions? But dear god you made a mistake. You gave me a sensitive heart. And i hurt for everything. I am trying to be strong  But i feel so out of place So it hurts too much. There are so many problems to be addressed. But i am just lazy today. Fighting you today Because i feel so passion less I have got no talent on me. I feel alone amongst my dears They only know the words But i cant feel them care. Because i am sick of words. God i didn't ask for words. At the end its just you and me My shallow heart and you Don't let me hurt anyone. I feel i am breaking  I cannot do this anymore. Am i not your child ? So wont you hold me as i cry? Wont you tell me i am strong? That i am being stupid right now, wont you? All i ask for is a warm smile. But my mother gives it to...

I t could be anyone But don't want it to be me Walking that road again The chill scares me I wanna walk on the sun You be shining on me like the sun Could you be my sunshine? I am scared ; alike a broken glass But how do you do it? Putting me together.  Healing my pieces. Could you be my indissoluble light? And you tell me about your plans And make me wonder where i fit? Feels like i am trying to spill your cup I fight to tell you how i feel I talk to you in my mirror But i see you in your wonder world. Are your dreams quixotic or feasible? I look deep into your eyes I hear your voice and read your words And i fail to say it to you "Honey where do i fit? Nowhere.  So i cant do this.... Anymore... I cant see myself in dark again You came too soon" Could have been the perfect one But somehow i don't fit in your plan And you came too soon But i still wish that you were mine Wish i could keep you as m...

Insomnia or dwelling i cant define. But just the realization of how time has passed from yesterday to today has made me sleepless. Time moves in its normal pace always. But some moments or part of our lives as we look back seem as if it moved "slow" or "fast" or "too fast".  From our mother's womb to where we are now, that is how much time has passed. That never ending long traffic jams to the too quickly ending laughter moments with our dear ones, time always has been at the same speed. If only we could hit "slow" at  our great and happy moments , "fast" at the sad moments, like some how we could manipulate time, if only. Would things be same if we could manipulate time as we pleased? Will our eyes have tears on them when cherishing school memories?  If we had 48 hours in a day how would you be living your life? Would schools run for 6 more hours?  Would office run 8 more hours? How many times would we eat? Would this world be a be...

"Baba what are you going to buy for me? Baba please we will buy a new cap ok? Baba we will also buy a spiderman dress for me. Is it fine baba? When will we go baba? All of my friends at school are showing off their new toys already." Hari recalls what his son was asking him this morning when he went to drop his son, mohan to school. After taking another puff from the cigarette, he puts his hand inside his pant's pocket. Rs 500, that was all he had in there. Rs 500 is not enough to celebrate as big a festival as dashain.  Next morning during breakfast ..... Mohan: "Baba today is half day at school, please take me shopping. We will go to that big city ok baba?" Hari: "Yes sure my dearest son. We will go to the city and buy too many things from the bazaar." ........................… "Baba you told me we will buy a lot of thing but what did you let me buy? Nothing!! You lied to me. I will jump from this bus window and die " Mohan was sobbing. Har...