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Showing posts from September, 2014


Insomnia or dwelling i cant define. But just the realization of how time has passed from yesterday to today has made me sleepless.Time moves in its normal pace always. But some moments or part of our lives as we look back seem as if it moved "slow" or "fast" or "too fast". 
From our mother's womb to where we are now, that is how much time has passed. That never ending long traffic jams to the too quickly ending laughter moments with our dear ones, time always has been at the same speed. If only we could hit "slow" at  our great and happy moments , "fast" at the sad moments, like some how we could manipulate time, if only. Would things be same if we could manipulate time as we pleased? Will our eyes have tears on them when cherishing school memories?  If we had 48 hours in a day how would you be living your life?
Would schools run for 6 more hours?  Would office run 8 more hours? How many times would we eat? Would this world be a better place …

Puffs of dashain

"Baba what are you going to buy for me? Baba please we will buy a new cap ok? Baba we will also buy a spiderman dress for me. Is it fine baba? When will we go baba? All of my friends at school are showing off their new toys already."
Hari recalls what his son was asking him this morning when he went to drop his son, mohan to school. After taking another puff from the cigarette, he puts his hand inside his pant's pocket. Rs 500, that was all he had in there. Rs 500 is not enough to celebrate as big a festival as dashain. 

Next morning during breakfast .....
Mohan: "Baba today is half day at school, please take me shopping. We will go to that big city ok baba?"
Hari: "Yes sure my dearest son. We will go to the city and buy too many things from the bazaar."

"Baba you told me we will buy a lot of thing but what did you let me buy? Nothing!! You lied to me. I will jump from this bus window and die " Mohan was sobbing. Hari: "…

Trivial fear

Deep. Its deep. The emotion that is controlling me right now is deep. I am feeling some anxiety, fear, insecurity. I am scared."I dont love you"
"I am sorry but i never loved you like......" Her words are echoing through me deep. Deep.

Through this abandoned and outmoded park i see a setting sun. A deep tenebrous shade of red has beseiged the clouds. The tree above me is hallowing in pain or is it screaming dance of joy? I am staring at the horizon.
"Damn I am a man, for God's sake stop. Please." -I tell myself. I cant find a tissue, who carries it anyway? They are not stopping. "What the fish? " I travelled some pretty miles, crossed some pretty villages , climbed some pretty tough hills , hungry as hell but no appetite, all this hardship so that voice would stop echoing through my whole body, those memories of her would estrange from my heart but these tears of pain are the only thing besides my body sweat that has estranged from my body leaving…