Lately so much is going on inside my mind. I am having such an unsatiated quest. I want to know about the beginning/start, the hows and the whys in between, the ending if any. I want to know not only what everybody knows, i want to go deeper and know that's not known to many. Like for example knowledge of the start, why , how of the World war or of the glasses and their recycling.
So where did this sudden curiosity come from? It couldn't have started only now to uproar abruptly, Could it? I believe its a side everyone has , just probably hidden, if not out on open, in need of that trigger. And any trigger could possible put it into hiding again.
A hungry always finds a way to assuage his hunger!! Not always. Sometimes its the situation and some times the boundaries which we don't want to risk fighting in the conquest of satiating our hunger.
As a kid i had wanted to read novels for the sake of knowing what it is like to be occupied by somebody else's word , imagination and experience. I did have short stories with me and i did read them over and over. But i wanted more. I wanted real. At that age I didn't know of public libraries . When i did come to know about them somehow it wasn't possible for me to go away from home , alone, for the sake of book borrowing. It wouldn't have gone well with my parents. I probably would have been told to do it once i was on my own. I never tried persuading them though because of a history. Like any other parent here, our parents wanted us to focus only on books that was part of the school or college curriculum.
"Being on own" : wouldn't there be the chance of being so left behind by the time such a time comes? So am i suddenly trying to catch up? I know whats the state of my mind right now. I could imagine myself poring over books if only i could. I still have restrains. I cannot manage to be in a library poring over for hours and hours. A friend of my quoted only today morning "Isn't it too late to be obsessed with history?". Well better late than never right?
I want to learn now, not for my parents, not for the sake of any examination, or any IQ test, i just want to because i have an obsessed interest. I am learning for myself and if tomorrow i shall be suddenly bored that's completely fine with me. Of course everything coming out from me is pointing to some craziness but hey everyone is crazy in one way or other. Life suddenly gets a thrive with such generation of passion or obsession whatever you name it. Though it may be short lived it suddenly revives that small part of us.
Cheers to this crazy parts of us.