Reticent

I remember the time exactly , which inflicted this dread for this day. It wasnt anything huge. Yet i dont understand the effects of it that hasnt faded away, being more worse with passing year. My composition, my thoughts, my behaviour everything shouts for SOS.

To wish you were never born, to wish you never existed, the self realization of no worthy achievement, the realization of a life that has been useless. 

I wish i could erase this day from my life. I dread the phone calls, the texts of a "happy birthday" wish. A year gone with no self satisfying achievement. I am where i was years from today. The same nagging, the same ......

Loathe. 

Hate.

Why so?

I am bound. 

I cannot change i cannot choose. I cannot explain.

I cannot console.

I cannot forget. 

Could i forgive?

Whom? 

Myself? Why?

For my laziness.