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Having a Big Sister, What's it like?

Today is my sister's birthday. And as a kid once i did try giving her all my gifts and toys. Back then that was the most I could do. I was wondering what special could I do for her birthday today to make it a little more special? Why don't I just write how it feels to have her in and have had her in my life?
Below are the few things about having a big sister that i relate to:

1. Dancing partner.
As a kid, we, oops nope , she choreographed so many songs and made all the little kids to dance on her steps. Anyone remember the "Fulchowki ko dada muni godawari bana" song dance?

2. Doing things she did.
Having started watching football because she did. The whole lot of movies that we have watched together. The exercising we did together. Following up a celebrity or an athlete because she did.

3. Ultimate stylist.
 I never bought a dress as a kid, unless  my sister approved of them. NEVER. EVER. She was my stylist.

4. Learning morals and good deeds.
 My sister always taught me to be polite and kind. Although we fought a lot and used swear words, at the end of the day she always said these words "Conquer hate not with hate but love". Every new year or dashain, she passed greeting cards to the whole bunch of her friends and school mates, and so did I. She believed (and still believes) in wishing everyone on their birthday,in making it special and so I did too. Her common phrase "May I be able to wish you even in your 100th birthday so I could also live longer".

5. Fighting for the phone and the dial-up internet.
 There was always a rule with her: she could make as many calls as she wanted, she could use the dial-up as much as she wanted but me !!! Nope I would get a beating if I did. And the fights for the phone? If any one of us was on the phone, we just wanted the other to hang up to save the bill. And disturbing the other person while on phone? Well I guess that was only me.

6. Being popular in school because of her.
 Teachers knew me as "Reshma ko baini" and so did so many of the school children. Yeah yeah I was popular for my own reasons too (like for my weird crazy laugh). Nevertheless she did improve my otherwise tainted popularity for crazy laughter.

7. She is your guardian.
 Having a big sister gives you an extra protective feeling that you wouldn't get from anyone else. She cares for you, takes care of you, love you unconditionally. Like the mother love and father love, you get sister love so pure and out of this world. Also to add she is someone you can look up to , someone to rely on always.

8. NOT to forget the whole bunch of extra wardrobe.
The most amazing thing is the extra wardrobe you get. Wearing her new clothes before she does, fitting in her jeans, shoes and tees, what an amazing and awe-awe-some advantage. WOhooooo.

9. Secret keeper
 Any friend of yours, even your parents might share your secret but she wont. You can be your true self and she wont judge you.  You don't judge each other. That's how it is with sisters.

10. Someone you are always proud of.

You never tell this to your sister but you always have been proud of her. Be it her excellent speaking skills, hosting skills, managing skills, dancing skills, her bravery , her small to big accomplishments you are one proud sister.

Here  I go folks a small list of many things about having a big sister. I love you my devil sister despite what I say or have had said like "I will smash your head in a big big big pot". Happiest birthday.



Days of life

Lifeless am i? Laying down On my bed I cant move I can see I cant hear Thoughts have conjested
A cup of tea i ask Nd a bed to sleep And let me live in peace 12 inch washing tub Placed in my bedroom  I have shame but had no washroom So let me live in peace
So the other day i text ya know? My bunch of people I tell em am tensed got some problem at work Ya know they were tensed equally? Alas not a lil trace of it for me , shoot.
Why are you scared? Did you do something wrong? Am only human, too much on my mind, you only add to my pain

Oh my mother don't know But she has nothing to worry about She asks me to help her But i cant move a feet She is tired of physical pain I am tired of my thoughts

At nights i awoke, there was a fight i had to win Asked for help And now the enemy is butchering me My body lies in my bed Lifeless I cant move a feet I can only see My heart is so heavy Weaving thoughts and weeping salt But Am not hungry
Plunging into darkness
I have lost the will
Can I get up…

A strange friendship

Lately I haven't been a morning person. Well who am i kidding i have never been a morning person. Anyways, today i had to visit a temple nearby because my mom wanted me to. So in my own time i went there. I organized my puja thali. And when i was doing so I noticed a little girl who was looking at what i was doing fascinatingly. There was this goat as well who was also fascinated by some flowers and a raddish i had in my thali.  I started doing my puja, fully aware the goat was eyeing my puja thali. 
In our culture we first offer puja to lord ganesh. Only then we offer puja to other gods. After doing the same, offering my puja to lord ganesh,i went inside the main temple of Bhairav. She tagged along and later i realized so did the goat.  The goat was disturbing  in a cute way. And the lil girl forcefully offered her help by holiding my thali for me. While i was kneeling down and doing my worship, she was making offerings from the thali herself.  And our bond started. The temple is…

My Lucid Dream

I want to spread my arms As wide as i can Close my  eyes  Shut everything off And let myself go Fall so deep And as i fall I want to fly  As high as i can go
Live my dream Feel the excitement of flying No more as a dream No more so real yet so dreamy feel The clear blue sky above me And oh so far the land is I rest then upon the green grass ground See the beautiful white clouds
Like a hot air balloon In the sky I see the beautiful mountains Oh so beautiful they are As i am flying  Only my eyes and memories have them captured
My eyes open I am in my bed But i cant let go of my dream So i wana spread my arms As wide as i can Shut my eyes off And let myself go Fall deep  Fall so deep  And as i almost touch the ground I will find my wings....