Is it being out of our mind, not being able to think rationally, having all the crazy thoughts, and getting stupid courage for stupid things?
Well, I get high from music. It's the best medication to heal me, and the worst possible medication to harm me as well. It takes me to heaven and to hell. It swings my mood. There's a difference though, between getting high on drugs and getting high from music. I haven't ever tried the first one, but as far as I know, it makes you forget your worries most of the time. Actually, now that I think of it, music does that too.
But when music haunts you, it haunts you really badly. All the wrong decisions of your life, all the people/friends you have hurt, all the things you did wrong, and all the things/people who did you wrong, every possible sorrow or grief you have been trying to suppress for so long takes over your mind, and you can't do anything but feel helpless, wonder at the time that has passed, a time you cannot change. The best thing for you to do is to realize it's not too late to compensate for the mistake, but it's easier said than done. You cannot please everyone in your life. You cannot make everyone happy.
I feel helpless in a situation when music puts me in hell. I should change my major to psychology, because I can't fight this feeling. What kind of feeling is this? Is it sadness, confusion, madness? What really is this situation?
But I guess it's equal to getting high. You don't know what you're really feeling, sad, confused, or mad. Maybe because everything you've been hiding within you, trying to overcome or forget, bursts out and stresses your mind, and you just don't know what and how you're feeling.
Writing this all eases me. And I read somewhere that writing relieves a little of your stress.
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