Insight through Words

Hush hush Don’t talk. People judge you. Hush hush  Don’t share people talk you. And hush hush Don’t open, people operate on you And hush hush Don’t blog, people read you Hush hush Cover up, opinions are aiming you Hush hush Hide under, bullets come to you And hush hush Run, they all chase you And hush hush Keep quiet, they might hear you The decisions are made, Your life is planned, 22 to get a degree, A child before 30 Hush Hush, Who are they decide Live your life by your wish

Maria walks into the class room. Its empty. The windows are open and the wind is blowing. The soft breeze whispers in her hair "You are hollow". A slight tear drops down through her eyes. I am hollow. She repeats on her mind. She recalls her conversation with Bonny. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maria: I am sorry, but I don't feel that way about you. May be not a million times but I have said it enough times why don't you understand? Bonny: Because I like you and I cannot stop myself from caring about you. I feel like we have this connection. I have this hope I want to hold onto. May be if I could show you my heart then you could see that I am mad about you. I have tried to stop caring and just move on. But, every time I do, I fall for you harder. Maria feels sad as she recalls this conversation. She has told Bonny she has no romantic feelings. Somehow, Bonny does not accept it. ...

I listen to love songs and cry. I cry because it feels so much. I cry because I start making stories on my head. I am writing story for someone else. Placing myself in the position of my character, I cry. I imagine. I have been living in my imaginations for so long. I have my own world. Coming into reality is just too depressing. I fear I can never feel the same way again. Without the fear of being judged, without the fear of being criticized or feeling stupid, I haven’t loved for a long time now. Sometimes I cry by the attention I get. Because they give me so much care and I give nothing in return. I have nothing to give. I am so empty. I have become so hollow. I was sitting and pondering why, when I have people in my life who shows they care, I cannot respond with similar emotion.

You are a question You are a mystery You make me wonder  Could I help you? Your eyes are liars You words are fires You hurt my intentions You are a mystery A burden on my chest A gulp on my throat You deserve just so much more You are weird and that’s ok But mysteries I wanna solve Why do you always sleep? So rude sometimes and so caring another day It’s so cold and you wear no coat Lost them both, it’s not your fault Why you laugh for no reason And sleep all the time Damien rice and hozier keeps playing on rhyme  You are mystery  Be a happy one Weird is your presence  Be a crazy one  Playing alone the strings of guitar Headphones are on your ear Please give me a true smile Your heart is pure, so be your smile

This post is dedicated to my journey of vegetarianism. My journey of being a vegetarian was not a random decision of my life. It did not happen in a snap. And please note it in advance I am not here to judge anyone.  My aunt has been a vegetarian since she was a little kid. It won’t be wrong to say My mama has been a vegetarian all his life. These two peoples although belonging to a newar family practiced vegetarianism and my grand mother had been supportive of this. My aunt chose to not eat meat for the sake of not consciously killing and eating a soul. My mama, he is such a sober man. His body does not agree with meat or alcohol. I have been around them. I used to be very close to my aunt. Hence, she definitely influenced my decision, not by telling me I should stop, but through her act of living a life of vegetarian. Secondly, I have lived my life around animals. We always had a dog at home. We had hens, we had rabbits. I think I learnt to empathise with them because I...

In a constant debate of writing or not writing about today, you can tell i decided to write anyway. Today is one of the worst days of my life. Let me just recall my day first so I can explain why its one of the worst days ever. My day starts with "constant" struggle of sleeping few more mins and waking up. I then quickly change and head for washroom, where i remember (this happens almost everyday) i have forgotten my morning medicines. I take my meds, then head for Puja room and start doing the chores there. Lemme tell you, just getting everything ready to start puja takes around an hour. And this is a daily routine. So lets skip to the part of me heading to office, almost everyday without having any breakfast. This routine of mine makes me hungry when I reach my workplace. Since today is Friday, our canteen runs out of bakery items. Therefore, I decided to head down to the nearest bakery store and buy myself some breakfast. As I was returning back, the vehicles were stuck...

Following is a page from a diary of a 21-year-old geek guy named John Doe that I am sharing with you said Miss Lou. Miss Lou: "Amy will you please pass the hands out to the whole class." I turn over the page. It reads out as so: " Infinite loop. It’s not a very uncommon word in my field. Today I want to dedicate my post to explain what is infinite loop and how I relate to it. Infinite loop means going around and round the same iteration in a never-ending circle.  "I hate my life. Yet I realize life is precious. It’s amazing. It’s wonderful and we should be thankful. I love my life. Yet I hate my life." Above is an illustration of an infinite loop. I am doing things I don't want to do. I am bound to things I don't want to be bound to. I feel responsible yet it's not how I imagine being responsible. And I fucking hate my life. I feel so suffocated. I feel so trapped. I don't even have my wings coz it’s been chopped off. I am goin...