Insight through Words

I don't know what to write because all I am thinking of is if I can do it. I know I won't do it. I know I cannot do it but only if there was an easy way, may be i would have been writing the last lines. May be. I have tried to make things normal. But i cannot fight against all the negativity this person has piled up in all this years. I dont blame this person. I know their struggle is real. But this negativity is eating me. This darkness is ruining me. Their brain makes things up. Or am i really so harsh? Everything is falling apart and i cannot put it all together.  There is only one person who is taking me seriously. Thank you for letting me vent. Thank you for being there coz its so hard to share and no one really cares. Its hard to make people understand. Even if I am the one wrong, you let me vent. Thank you.

When you start depending on people you become a leech. A nuisance to other while unsurvivable without other. I always held my upfront loud nature as a detrimental reality but today I know, what I am is at least out as a reality to everyone and I have no shocking sides that'll shock or hurt anyone. I don't lie coz I can't shut my routine. Sometimes you don't need help but it's a good feeling if someone offers. Last but not the least: Your fears and all your insecurities will haunt you.  This world, this universe conspires to make your fear a reality. Some soul touch you and Some lessons you learn. Bitter. Sweet. Sour. But you learn. They say Trust no one because even your shadow betrays. It's one of those days when you realize the meaning of such heavy sentence. And if it's same at the end, I would rather hurt for someone I seek rather than the other way around. I am happy as I am. And sometimes the reasons are not enough to ...